Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Guardian



"Guardian"
You, you who has smiled when you’re in pain
You who has soldiered through the profane
They were distracted and shut down

So why, why would you talk to me at all
Such words were dishonorable and in vain
Their promise as solid as a fog

And where was your watchman then

I’ll be your keeper for life as your guardian
I’ll be your warrior of care your first warden
I’ll be your angel on call, I’ll be on demand
The greatest honor of all, as your guardian

You, you in the chaos feigning sane
You who has pushed beyond what’s humane
Them as the ghostly tumbleweed

And where was your watchman then

I’ll be your keeper for life as your guardian
I’ll be your warrior of care your first warden
I’ll be your angel on call, I’ll be on demand
The greatest honor of all, as your guardian

Now no more smiling mid crestfall
No more managing unmanageables
No more holding still in the hailstorm

Now enter your watchman

I’ll be your keeper for life as your guardian
I’ll be your warrior of care your first warden
I’ll be your angel on call, I’ll be on demand
The greatest honor of all, as your guardian

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

In Love....Or just a Crush?

In front of the person you like, your heart
beats faster
But in front of the person you love, you get
happy.

In front of the person you love, winter seems
like spring.
But in front of the person you like, winter is
just beautiful winter.

If you look into the eyes of the one you like,
you blush.
But if you look into the eyes of the one you
love, you smile.

In front of the person you like, you can't say
everything on your mind.
But in front of the person you love, you can.

In front of the person you like, you tend to get
shy.
But in front of the person you love, you can
show your own self.

You can't look straight into the eyes of the
one you like.
But you can always smile and stare into the
eyes of the one you love.

When the one you like is crying, you end
up comforting.
But when the one you love is crying, you cry
with
them.

The feeling of like starts from the ear.
But the feeling of love starts from the eye.

So if you stop liking a person you used to
like, all you need to do is cover your ears.
But if you try to close your eyes, love turns
into a drop of tear and remains in your heart
forever...

Numb

Erase. Erase. Delete. Delete. 

Life would be too easy if only I could do that. 

A wise muse once told me, God never gives you more than you can handle. I agree muse. I have had some bad times. I have had some rough times. I have had some REALLY REALLY horrible times. 

But even the strong need help sometimes. And its always ok to be able to say, "I need your help"

The mood swings are still eratic. But they are getting better. And I am getting help. Proper help. Medicational help.

Funny. I woke up this morning entirely ready to face the day knowing that at the end of it all my emotions will be wiped out.

Yes, I begged for emotions to be wiped out. Clear. She told me that my happiness will be muted as much as my sadness. 

"Its ok. I don't need happiness anymore. I havent held that emotion in my hands for a long long time now. Sometimes I forget how it was."

She had stared at me with pitiful eyes. Sorry that everything I had was always bottled up. 

"Cant you talk about it?"

"My friends, they hear a glimpse of my life and I see it in their eyes that they cant handle it. I don't see why I have to keep on torturing them. So I keep it all inside. Ive done this all my life. Its ok."

She looked at me sadly, and wrote on the piece of paper, sealing my freedom. 



***



I woke up this morning so sure that my feelings for her would be gone. 

Modern medication is a wonderful thing you know. 

But she spoke to me. Breaking our silence, breaking the truce, breaking my anger. 

Was she worth keeping emotions for? I wondered. Is the happiness that I always have with her worth the pain she always feeds me?

I don't even know why she spoke to me. Devils singing? Angels screaming? Why? Why? Why?

Is this an attempt to not lose me?

(I cant lose you anymore)

How many times must we go through this cycle? Tip-toe. Tell me what you know. Confusion?

I am. 

Funny. I wake up every morning thinking of you. 



***



In the morning. Pop pop. 

Another one slides down.

Another emotion gets burnt out.

If I could feel happiness, this would be it.

Being able to feel nothing at all.

The man who said to love and lost is better than never to have loved at all.

Yes that man.

He is a fool.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

uGotme~

There's so many things I wanna say
Can't stop thinking of you from night to day
How your words manage to find their way
To the darkest part of my 4 chambered clay

I Love You I Love You is all i wanna say
And be in your arms till the break of day
and I hope you don't mind that as from today
There'll not be a day you're not remembered this way

You

I look down the ballroom, 
Eyes open wide, 
Looking for clue, trying to look for something, 
Until then i saw you

You were busy with your friends, or so what it seems, 
But there's something different about you, which makes it perfect for me. 

As our eyes meet for the first time, 
I know you can see, 
The burning desire to meet you in person, 
But you try to avoid me. 

You're a pearl among the sands,
You're the diamond among the rough, 
i try and try to reach you, 
Coz i know that 'hi' wasn't enough. 

As the courtship begin, between me and you, 
I heard that you're taken, but i know it wasn't true. 

I climb the walls and cross the thorny bushes to try to get to you. 
But you only smile and waved hi, 
Your actions drive me to get more of you. 

So please my dear, my darling you, 
Can i offer you a drink, or perhaps supper too?
I wanna get to know you better, i hope you do too, 
We'll begin a new chapter, of me and you.