#Sampah 20

If You Forget Me

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

~Pablo Neruda

Sampah #19

Terima kasih.... 


sebab sudi kawan ngn saya, 


sudi kenal saya, 


sudi msg2 saya, 


Sudi layan kebodohan saya, 


dan sudi jadi sebahagian dari hari2 saya.




Terima kasih.... ..... ....

Sampah #18

I'm tired..

I'm done..

Had enough

The bullshit and lies

I'm Done

After I tried

To play ur games

To win ur heart

So goodbye Smile

And Welcome Horror

To the face of man

who was once a cheerer

Sampah #17

FLOWER OF LOVE by Oscar Wilde

Sweet, I blame you not, for mine the fault was, had I not been made of common clay
I had climbed the higher heights unclimbed yet, seen the fuller air, the larger day.

From the wildness of my wasted passion I had struck a better, clearer song,
Lit some lighter light of freer freedom, battled with some Hydra-headed wrong.

Had my lips been smitten into music by the kisses that but made them bleed,
You had walked with Bice and the angels on that verdant and enamelled meed.

I had trod the road which Dante treading saw the suns of seven circles shine,
Ay! perchance had seen the heavens opening, as they opened to the Florentine.

And the mighty nations would have crowned me, who am crownless now and without name,
And some orient dawn had found me kneeling on the threshold of the House of Fame.

I had sat within that marble circle where the oldest bard is as the young,
And the pipe is ever dropping honey, and the lyre's strings are ever strung.

Keats had lifted up his hymeneal curls from out the poppy-seeded wine,
With ambrosial mouth had kissed my forehead, clasped the hand of noble love in mine.

And at springtide, when the apple-blossoms brush the burnished bosom of the dove,
Two young lovers lying in an orchard would have read the story of our love;

Would have read the legend of my passion, known the bitter secret of my heart,
Kissed as we have kissed, but never parted as we two are fated now to part.

For the crimson flower of our life is eaten by the cankerworm of truth,
And no hand can gather up the fallen withered petals of the rose of youth.

Yet I am not sorry that I loved you -ah! what else had I a boy to do? -
For the hungry teeth of time devour, and the silent-footed years pursue.

Rudderless, we drift athwart a tempest, and when once the storm of youth is past,
Without lyre, without lute or chorus, Death the silent pilot comes at last.

And within the grave there is no pleasure, for the blindworm battens on the root,
And Desire shudders into ashes, and the tree of Passion bears no fruit.

Ah! what else had I to do but love you? God's own mother was less dear to me,
And less dear the Cytheraean rising like an argent lily from the sea.

I have made my choice, have lived my poems, and, though youth is gone in wasted days,
I have found the lover's crown of myrtle better than the poet's crown of bays.

Sampah #16

aku tak tahu nak tulis apa
tapi aku nak menulis
sedikit idea pun tak datang
aku hanya tulis apa yang ada dalam kepala

sebetulnya aku sedikit sakit
serba salah pon ada
macam ada buat salah
macam ada buat org rasa sakit hati
macam ada buat orang geram

aku cuba nak bagi tahu sesuatu
aku tak nak benda yang sama jadi lagi
tapi orang memang takkan paham
mungkin tiada siapa paham

apa yang aku inginkan tak pernah nya jadi
semuanya sebab yang sama
ahhh..
biar lah
moga esok selesai semuanya
moga esok cerah mcm biasa
moga esok aku lupa akan segalanya


Give me one more quiet night,
Before this loud morning gets it right and does me in.
Does this story have an ending?
Cause I’m needing to escape.
And kill the blinding lights of day to try again.
Close my eyes and start descending....






sign off~

Sampah #15

Pernah awk mengalami situasi 

Di mana Awk suka kt seseorang

tapi orang tu dah ada yang punya?

Pernah tak awk alami

Di mana awk suka kat seseorang

tapi org tu suka kt orang lain?

Mungkin awk akan kata

"tu laaa, sape suh lambat..."

Tapi masalahnya saya tak pernah lambat

Saya bertindak dengan cepat

Last-last saya yang kecewa

Dia dh berpunya rupanya

Apa yang boleh saya buat

Perlukah saya tunggu seribu tahun lagi

Atau saya ini telah ditakdirkan keseorangan selamanya

Perlukah saya berhenti mencari?

Perlukah saya give up?

kerana setiap 'peluang' yang ada di depan mata

selalunya di sapu orang terlebih dahulu

Jiwa sudah letih

Lelah mencipta harapan

Andai diri ini keseorangan selamanya

Aku redha

Sampah #14

Everyone has a story to tell. well... this is my story and aku bahagikan kepada 10 stages.


Stage 1: Discovery

kadang-kadang dalam hidup

kita akan jumpa sesuatu yg istimewa

bagi aku, hanya seorang gadis.

seorang gadis yang aku nampak cukup sempurna.

walaupun pada hakikatnya

hidup dia penuh dengan kisah sedih

well, at least itu yang aku dapat tahu

masa 1st time aku jumpa dia

aku dapat tahu yang dia putus tunang

aku dapat tahu yang dia tgh bercelaru

aku dapat tahu yang emosi dia terganggu disebabkan lelaki itu

aku dapat tahu all her struggle and pain

apa yang dia lalui hari demi hari

dan aku tertanya-tanya dalam diri

"kenapa semuanya terjadi?"

Stage 2: Guardianship

pertama kali berjumpa

tears rolling down form her eyes

I was wondering why

and she start talking

recalling all the event

painful it is to me

but i kept on listening

listening...

listening...

listen to all her rant

to all her crying

no matter what she has to say

i just listen

and listen

and listen

because it is more important than anything else

just to be there for her

a shoulder for her to cry on

Stage 3: letting loose

makin lama

kami makin rapat

tapi aku rasa makin pelik

aku cuba untuk kawal keadaan

sebab she open up everything to me

aku started to notice that she smiling again

aku rasa happy sebab dia dh happy

tapi aku masih berhati-hati

tapi tak lama

aku dan dia jadi kawan baik

selalu hangout sama-sama

selalu minum sama-sama

layan live-band sama-sama

sampai aku rasa

"hey, shes so cool and i think i like this girl.."

and everything she does amazed me

and for some reason, i started to fall for this girl

but it so confusing

because i don't know her feeling

and this is where things got so complicated

Stage 4: Build - up

Things were so perfect between me and her

almost unreal

i felt that love is in the air

the way she talk

the way she smile

it just something about her yg aku tak pernah nampak sebelum ni

in everything that she does

and maybe

just maybe

i felt hope....

Stage 5: The drop

Aku rasa macam semua ni agak gila

dan aku tertanya-tanya

adakah dia pun rasa macam apa yang aku rasa

ke aku sorang je

ke dia tgh buat aku gila bayang

i need to ask her for a date

a real date

not like the date where we just hangout and drink "limau asamboi" and eat "cucur udang"

i call her

like a several times

no answer

i sent text massages

but she did not reply

and this shite go on and on and on and on

until few weeks later

until one day

i got message in my YM.

"razie, can u give me ur address. i nak send kad jemputan kat u."

what was i expecting?

what was i thinking

what hope was there to begin with....

Stage 6: The Darkest hour

Some people handle the depressing moment by doing something positive

but others are not

well, i'm one of the 'others'

I started to gave her bad names

profanity included to be honest

There is no other way to combat that depressing situation

only by eating i found my solace

i ate

and ate

and ate

the threw up

and ate again

and again

and again.....

Stage 7: The Realization

One day

I felt horrible

I felt I cannot stand up

My feet was killing me

And they were no longer have the ability to support my body anymore.

I felt tired

all the time

I look in the mirror

"Ya Tuhanku, what have i done???"

I need to do something

before its too late

before i die with all this hate in my vein.

Stage 8: The Redemption

I went to the gym

workout

bring it

pushing everything to the limit

and i will not stop

sampai aku betul-betul keluar dari lembah yang satu ini

Chapter 9: The Resurrection 

Years later

I'm a different person

I'm no longer that Razie

that dude gone with half of my body weight

I fell confident

no longer eating

coz i just found my solace in running

and lifting weights

but i never stop thinking about her

its not like i want to get her back

i just want us to be friends again

but someone told me not to

so i just have to let go and move on

start to look for a new hope

i guess......

Stage 10: The Escape

All I know shes happy

Shes happy with her new life

and that jerk she got married to

well..

its not totally her fault

its my fault as well

I should tell her from the beginning

and that why sometimes I wonder

if I made that early move

she will be with me forever

but...

I have to move on

although i hate to build another hope

and become hopeless

but actually there's something good about hope

you see, the thing about hope is that

it has a way of working things out by itself

as long as I keep saying

"hi, my name is Razie...'

pretty soon I will find 'the one' I've been waiting for...

note to the readers (if any): This shite is based on TheMingThing video "Alove, Forever" just taip the title on Youtube and you will find the video. Nevertheless, the story is a true story. based on my own experience in battling my obesity and emotional problem.