B Ur Everything

Four letter word

But I don't have the guts to say it

Smile 'til it hurts

Let's not make it complicated

We've got a story

But I'm about to change the ending

You're perfect for me

And more than just a friend

So we can just stop pretending now

Gotta let you know somehow

We used to say

That we would always stick together

But who's to say

That we could never last forever

Girl, got a question

Could you see yourself with somebody else?

'Cause I'm on a mission

And I don't wanna share

I want you all to myself right now

And I just wanna scream it out

No matter what you do

I'll be there for you

And every time you close your eyes

I will be by your side

'Cause every time you make me sing

Baby I will be your everything

I'll be your shelter

I'll be your storm

I'll make you shiver

I'll keep you warm

Whatever weather

Baby I'm yours

Be your forever, be your fling

Baby I will be your everything

**************************

Sampah #21

Duduk aku di pagi ini
Mengadap jendela yang ditembusi cahaya mentari pagi
Yang sangat cerah dan hangat
Yang tak pernah lalai membuat alam menjadi indah
Yang tak pernah leka menyinari hidup setiap makhluk
Walau sekecil mana makhluk itu
Sinaran mentari itu amat adil dan amat jujur

Lalu aku bangun
Berdiri mengadap jendela
Fikiranku melayang
Ke suatu daerah yang pernah aku lalui
Di daerah di mana aku bertemu kamu
Di daerah yang amat bermakna padaku hari ini

Tak pernah aku jangka
Jauh sekali menduga
Kita seakrab ini
Walaupun bermacam-macam mehnah
Bernimbun tribulasi
Natijahnya kita telah di sini
Di sebuah daerah yang lain
Di sebuah daerah yang istimewa
Di sebuah daerah yang indah

Jauh disudut hati
Amat aku bersyukur
Di pertemukan dgn kamu
Dulu gelap
Sekarang cerah

Terima kasih atas keindahan
Terimah kasih atas kegembiraan
Terima kasih atas kemesraan
Terima kasih atas setiap senyuman

Terima kasih...

AKUstatik
9:37am
17:11:2012

Everything

You're a falling star, you're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.

And you play it coy but it's kinda cute.
Ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend that you don't know it's true.
'cause you can see it when I look at you.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

Guardian

"Guardian"

You, you who has smiled when you’re in pain
You who has soldiered through the profane
They were distracted and shut down

So why, why would you talk to me at all
Such words were dishonorable and in vain
Their promise as solid as a fog

And where was your watchman then

I’ll be your keeper for life as your guardian
I’ll be your warrior of care your first warden
I’ll be your angel on call, I’ll be on demand
The greatest honor of all, as your guardian

You, you in the chaos feigning sane
You who has pushed beyond what’s humane
Them as the ghostly tumbleweed

And where was your watchman then

I’ll be your keeper for life as your guardian
I’ll be your warrior of care your first warden
I’ll be your angel on call, I’ll be on demand
The greatest honor of all, as your guardian

Now no more smiling mid crestfall
No more managing unmanageables
No more holding still in the hailstorm

Now enter your watchman

I’ll be your keeper for life as your guardian
I’ll be your warrior of care your first warden
I’ll be your angel on call, I’ll be on demand
The greatest honor of all, as your guardian

In Love....Or just a Crush?

In front of the person you like, your heart
beats faster
But in front of the person you love, you get
happy.

In front of the person you love, winter seems
like spring.
But in front of the person you like, winter is
just beautiful winter.

If you look into the eyes of the one you like,
you blush.
But if you look into the eyes of the one you
love, you smile.

In front of the person you like, you can't say
everything on your mind.
But in front of the person you love, you can.

In front of the person you like, you tend to get
shy.
But in front of the person you love, you can
show your own self.

You can't look straight into the eyes of the
one you like.
But you can always smile and stare into the
eyes of the one you love.

When the one you like is crying, you end
up comforting.
But when the one you love is crying, you cry
with
them.

The feeling of like starts from the ear.
But the feeling of love starts from the eye.

So if you stop liking a person you used to
like, all you need to do is cover your ears.
But if you try to close your eyes, love turns
into a drop of tear and remains in your heart
forever...

Numb

Erase. Erase. Delete. Delete. 

Life would be too easy if only I could do that. 

A wise muse once told me, God never gives you more than you can handle. I agree muse. I have had some bad times. I have had some rough times. I have had some REALLY REALLY horrible times. 

But even the strong need help sometimes. And its always ok to be able to say, "I need your help"

The mood swings are still eratic. But they are getting better. And I am getting help. Proper help. Medicational help.

Funny. I woke up this morning entirely ready to face the day knowing that at the end of it all my emotions will be wiped out.

Yes, I begged for emotions to be wiped out. Clear. She told me that my happiness will be muted as much as my sadness. 

"Its ok. I don't need happiness anymore. I havent held that emotion in my hands for a long long time now. Sometimes I forget how it was."

She had stared at me with pitiful eyes. Sorry that everything I had was always bottled up. 

"Cant you talk about it?"

"My friends, they hear a glimpse of my life and I see it in their eyes that they cant handle it. I don't see why I have to keep on torturing them. So I keep it all inside. Ive done this all my life. Its ok."

She looked at me sadly, and wrote on the piece of paper, sealing my freedom. 



***



I woke up this morning so sure that my feelings for her would be gone. 

Modern medication is a wonderful thing you know. 

But she spoke to me. Breaking our silence, breaking the truce, breaking my anger. 

Was she worth keeping emotions for? I wondered. Is the happiness that I always have with her worth the pain she always feeds me?

I don't even know why she spoke to me. Devils singing? Angels screaming? Why? Why? Why?

Is this an attempt to not lose me?

(I cant lose you anymore)

How many times must we go through this cycle? Tip-toe. Tell me what you know. Confusion?

I am. 

Funny. I wake up every morning thinking of you. 



***



In the morning. Pop pop. 

Another one slides down.

Another emotion gets burnt out.

If I could feel happiness, this would be it.

Being able to feel nothing at all.

The man who said to love and lost is better than never to have loved at all.

Yes that man.

He is a fool.

uGotme~

There's so many things I wanna say
Can't stop thinking of you from night to day
How your words manage to find their way
To the darkest part of my 4 chambered clay

I Love You I Love You is all i wanna say
And be in your arms till the break of day
and I hope you don't mind that as from today
There'll not be a day you're not remembered this way