Stage 1: Discovery
kadang-kadang dalam hidup
kita akan jumpa sesuatu yg istimewa
bagi aku, hanya seorang gadis.
seorang gadis yang aku nampak cukup sempurna.
walaupun pada hakikatnya
hidup dia penuh dengan kisah sedih
well, at least itu yang aku dapat tahu
masa 1st time aku jumpa dia
aku dapat tahu yang dia putus tunang
aku dapat tahu yang dia tgh bercelaru
aku dapat tahu yang emosi dia terganggu disebabkan lelaki itu
aku dapat tahu all her struggle and pain
apa yang dia lalui hari demi hari
dan aku tertanya-tanya dalam diri
"kenapa semuanya terjadi?"
Stage 2: Guardianship
pertama kali berjumpa
tears rolling down form her eyes
I was wondering why
and she start talking
recalling all the event
painful it is to me
but i kept on listening
listening...
listening...
listen to all her rant
to all her crying
no matter what she has to say
i just listen
and listen
and listen
because it is more important than anything else
just to be there for her
a shoulder for her to cry on
Stage 3: letting loose
makin lama
kami makin rapat
tapi aku rasa makin pelik
aku cuba untuk kawal keadaan
sebab she open up everything to me
aku started to notice that she smiling again
aku rasa happy sebab dia dh happy
tapi aku masih berhati-hati
tapi tak lama
aku dan dia jadi kawan baik
selalu hangout sama-sama
selalu minum sama-sama
layan live-band sama-sama
sampai aku rasa
"hey, shes so cool and i think i like this girl.."
and everything she does amazed me
and for some reason, i started to fall for this girl
but it so confusing
because i don't know her feeling
and this is where things got so complicated
Stage 4: Build - up
Things were so perfect between me and her
almost unreal
i felt that love is in the air
the way she talk
the way she smile
it just something about her yg aku tak pernah nampak sebelum ni
in everything that she does
and maybe
just maybe
i felt hope....
Stage 5: The drop
Aku rasa macam semua ni agak gila
dan aku tertanya-tanya
adakah dia pun rasa macam apa yang aku rasa
ke aku sorang je
ke dia tgh buat aku gila bayang
i need to ask her for a date
a real date
not like the date where we just hangout and drink "limau asamboi" and eat "cucur udang"
i call her
like a several times
no answer
i sent text massages
but she did not reply
and this shite go on and on and on and on
until few weeks later
until one day
i got message in my YM.
"razie, can u give me ur address. i nak send kad jemputan kat u."
what was i expecting?
what was i thinking
what hope was there to begin with....
Stage 6: The Darkest hour
Some people handle the depressing moment by doing something positive
but others are not
well, i'm one of the 'others'
I started to gave her bad names
profanity included to be honest
There is no other way to combat that depressing situation
only by eating i found my solace
i ate
and ate
and ate
the threw up
and ate again
and again
and again.....
Stage 7: The Realization
One day
I felt horrible
I felt I cannot stand up
My feet was killing me
And they were no longer have the ability to support my body anymore.
I felt tired
all the time
I look in the mirror
"Ya Tuhanku, what have i done???"
I need to do something
before its too late
before i die with all this hate in my vein.
Stage 8: The Redemption
I went to the gym
workout
bring it
pushing everything to the limit
and i will not stop
sampai aku betul-betul keluar dari lembah yang satu ini
Chapter 9: The Resurrection
Years later
I'm a different person
I'm no longer that Razie
that dude gone with half of my body weight
I fell confident
no longer eating
coz i just found my solace in running
and lifting weights
but i never stop thinking about her
its not like i want to get her back
i just want us to be friends again
but someone told me not to
so i just have to let go and move on
start to look for a new hope
i guess......
Stage 10: The Escape
All I know shes happy
Shes happy with her new life
and that jerk she got married to
well..
its not totally her fault
its my fault as well
I should tell her from the beginning
and that why sometimes I wonder
if I made that early move
she will be with me forever
but...
I have to move on
although i hate to build another hope
and become hopeless
but actually there's something good about hope
you see, the thing about hope is that
it has a way of working things out by itself
as long as I keep saying
"hi, my name is Razie...'
pretty soon I will find 'the one' I've been waiting for...
note to the readers (if any): This shite is based on TheMingThing video "Alove, Forever" just taip the title on Youtube and you will find the video. Nevertheless, the story is a true story. based on my own experience in battling my obesity and emotional problem.
